Overall results (score 64)

Overall ability to communicate effectively.

According to your score on this test, your communication skills are good. As you may know, interpersonal skills are the essence of social interaction; they play a large role in the impression you make on others. You seem to have a fairly solid grasp of effective communication and put the theories into practice, but there is always room for improvement. All it takes is a little know-how and effort. Like most things in life, practice makes perfect - and you're more than halfway there!

Insightfulness (score 61)

The ability to read others and understand things from their point of view.

Your results indicate that you are fairly adept at interpreting other people’s words and actions and seeing things from their perspective - although the rare misunderstanding may occur. Overall however, you seem to realize that empathy is an essential part of good interpersonal skills and therefore, will do your best to place yourself in other people’s shoes in order to better understand them. For the most part, you can sense what others are thinking, and will likely adjust your behavior accordingly if a person you’re conversing with seems confused or perhaps uncomfortable. There may be the occasional time when you pay more attention to the message you’re sending rather than how it’s received. With some time and experience, you’ll likely be able to improve your insight even more.

Verbal Expression (score 68)

The ability to deliver a clear and concise message.

According to your answers, you are quite proficient at getting your point across to others. You have a fairly solid grasp of how to convey a message so that people get the intended meaning. You seem capable of explaining yourself clearly, and often use many of the techniques necessary for effectively conversing with others. You appear to be aware that adjusting your approach and choice of words according to your audience is essential to prevent misunderstandings. This makes it less likely that you'll hurt or offend someone, which can occur often when you don't make the intent of your message clear. If you'd like to reach your full potential however, check out the tips in the advice section.

Assertiveness (score 75)

Your willingness to express differing opinions and to stand up for yourself.

Your score indicates that you are fairly assertive when dealing with others and will rarely hesitate to express an opinion that strays somewhat from the norm. You seldom hold back from asking questions or discussing sensitive issues, even if it may result in an argument. This doesn't mean that you don't exercise tact; it's possible to stand up for yourself without being aggressive. It is also likely that you are fairly capable of talking to people who appear intimidating. This is typically a good sign, because the root of assertiveness is found in self-esteem. In a nutshell, you know that the only way to communicate in a genuine, effective way is to voice what you're thinking or feeling, even when it may “rock the boat” slightly. Since your score was high but not at the very top, however, there is still some room for improvement. Go that extra mile!

Listening Skills (score 64)

Understanding of the rules of “listening etiquette” and the ability to actively attend to others.

You had a fairly high score on the listening skills component of the test. This means that you have a good understanding of what active listening involves, and you actually put that knowledge to use in your interactions with others. Many people wrongfully believe that listening is a passive activity, one that consists of simply absorbing what the other person says. You seem to realize that in fact, attending to others is an active process; it involves making an effort to stay attentive even when the conversation is boring, letting others speak without interrupting, and suppressing distracting mannerisms. You've mastered most of these skills, but could always improve them a little more.

Emotional Management (score 49)

The ability and willingness to deal with your own, as well as other people’s, emotions.

It appears as though you are generally able to manage the emotional part of the communication process, but some improvement is needed. You're not completely comfortable expressing your feelings or dealing with emotionally charged situations. As a result, you may occasionally go out of your way to avoid discussing sensitive issues. When the issue of feelings is being discussed in a conversation, you sometimes feel ill at ease; you don't always like making yourself vulnerable. On some occasions, you may also find yourself at a loss in terms of what to say, and consequently, end up feeling that whatever comes out will sound awkward or false. Whatever the reason for your occasional discomfort, you could probably benefit from trying to improve your ability to deal with emotions. Remember that keeping feelings hidden or avoiding them can be very frustrating not just for others but for you as well.

" Communication is a skill that you can learn. It's like riding a bicycle or typing. If you're willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life. "
Brian Tracy

Communication is not simply choosing the right words - many factors come into play. It's not uncommon to find ourselves able to communicate smoothly in one situation, but bumbling our way through another. The fact is that whether you are happy with your present communication skills, there is always room for improvement. Here are some useful strategies for understanding and being understood.

Being understood

• Make your messages complete and specific. Tell the person what the point of the conversation is right from the get-go to avoid any miscommunication or confusion. Tell him or her in exact terms what you want or need and why. There is no need to be subtle or beat around the bush - although this doesn't mean you should be overly aggressive or blunt! It's possible to be courteous and direct.

• Use "I" phrases when criticizing. For example, instead of saying "You frustrate me when you show up late", send the message from your point of view: "I feel frustrated when you're late because we miss out on some productive time. What can we do about the situation?" Essentially, say how you feel, why, and ask the other person a question that leaves the ball in their court. Also, remember not to neglect the positive. For every critical comment, try to provide at least one positive one.

• Check for understanding. If you continue rambling on and on even though your listener has a confused look on his or her face, you're wasting his or her time as well as your own. Check regularly that he or she understands, especially when dealing with a complex issue - don't assume that people will know what you're talking about. Make sure to explain things from a perspective they can relate to. Remember that one of the keys to clear communication is knowing your audience.

• Ask for feedback on how you're communicating. You can do this as part of the actual process by, for example, asking questions like "Does what I'm saying make sense?" or "Should I be more specific?" You can also ask people you communicate with on a regular basis for specific feedback on everything from your body language to the pace at which you share information.

• Be yourself. Be honest and straightforward. People can often sense when someone is being evasive or lying. Remember that what you don't say is just as telling as what you do say.

• Don't be afraid to be assertive. This means making steady eye contact, listening actively, as well as showing respect for the other person and for yourself. Remember however, that there's a fine line between being aggressive and assertive. Using intimidation or hostile tones of voice won't get you very far.

• Don't put your foot in your mouth. Think before you speak! Is what you are about to say worth communicating? How would you react if someone said it to you? Blurting out the first thing that comes to mind might result in major embarrassment for you and the person you are talking to. Be prepared. Knowing what you want to say and how you will say it before approaching someone will make things go a lot more smoothly.

• Consider videotaping yourself. If you'd really like to pinpoint some of your bad habits (and we all have them), set up a camera and film yourself during conversations. Pay attention to the way you communicate in different situations and the type of skills you use. How are your voice, your facial expressions, your body language, the words you choose? You can even get someone else to watch it with you and see if they notice any bad habits.

Understanding others

• Listen for understanding, not evaluation. Focus on understanding what the speaker is trying to communicate and shut off your internal judge. Don't evaluate or interpret other people's messages - take what they say for exactly what it is.

• Encourage others to speak. Ask open-ended questions, hear them out, and be respectful of their opinions - whether you agree or not. Also, show that you want to hear what people have to say. If you look bored, preoccupied, or annoyed, you will shut down the flow of communication. This doesn't mean you should fake interest, but at least give them a chance.

• Empathize. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. What seems completely unreasonable from your point of view might make perfect sense from his or her perspective. Also, try to understand the feelings behind the words. Be very careful however, not to put words in anyone's mouth.

• Don't listen to the words alone. Pay attention to body language. If the person you are speaking to tells you, for example, that he or she is not nervous but his or her trembling hands say otherwise, investigate. Remember that actions often speak louder than words.

• Avoid interruptions. Plan a time and place for conversations where you will be interrupted as little as possible (shut off the phone if necessary or close your door). However, if distraction can't be avoided, like background noise, try your best to block it out and focus on the person you are talking to.

• Don't interrupt. Just as you need the chance to express your views, the other party also deserves that chance. Interrupting will stop the flow of conversation and likely leave others feeling frustrated.

Body Talk

• Rid yourself of distracting mannerisms. Habits such as finger-tapping or fidgeting can be serious communication blocks. Pinpoint what your habits are and focus on eliminating them.

• Eye contact. Maintaining eye contact with the person you are speaking to is essential. It shows you are interested, makes communication a two-way street, and keeps the person actively engaged. Just don't get to the point where you're staring without blinking!

• Pay attention to proximity. The physical distance that separates you from others is important. If you are far away or standing behind a desk, you are sending the message that you are inaccessible and unapproachable. This keeps things rigid and formal. Standing too close, however, will make the person feel uncomfortable because he or she may feel like you're invading his or her personal space. Given the circumstances you're in and how close your relationship is with the person you're talking to, the usual distance between two people conversing should be about three feet.